I Will Never Fall Out of Love With Love


Love never dies because it’s what we’re made from.

Standing at the edge of heartache is overwhelming. You know you’re close to falling—all the dreams, memories and emotions crumble like grains of sand between your toes, and the wishes your heart makes disappear into something unfamiliar.

You wonder if anyone else will be able to spark the same kind of feeling. After a while you give up hope until it happens again, unexpectedly. That’s when you realize the truth: love never went away, it was always there.

All my life I’ve been an adamant observer of people, judging the way things are and planning for the way they ought to be. I guess you can say I wear my heart on my sleeve, often forgiving people too soon or investing too much of myself. But after years of falling in and out of love I recently decided to stop searching altogether—to relinquish control of finding love, and instead be love.

Heartache is an infection blinding us from our true identity, which is love.

I fall in love every single day with friends, strangers, words, food, or myself. I sit in it. I relish in it because it’s what I’m made from—what we’re all made from. It’s the baseline of human logic to need it and we’re attracted to those who have it in full supply.

But sadly the world defines love as something different. It’s a package deal: if no one loves in return, how can one be “in love”? We view it as half of a whole—truly I don’t know anything about love if I’m single and have had my heartbroken twice. Who am I to talk about love with my kind of track record—I can’t keep a boyfriend and I’m always getting heartbroken. What do I know?

Love is something every person thinks they know more about, and we all have a different interpretation based on experience. One bad breakup and we’re left to assume that love only causes pain. Trust me, it doesn’t.

The world we live in is constantly trying to keep us away from love. We’re too focused on finances, debt, friend drama, body image, and all the other crap that have nothing to do with a legacy we’ll ultimately leave. We think we want what the media says we want, but deep down it never satisfies us because it isn’t the truth.

Love is an emotion that starts in truth. None of the things we’re bred to think of as love—money, power, glory, objects—are fueled with authenticity. They’re mind games made to build an artificial self-worth. The more we have, the more valuable we become. The less we have, the less valuable we are to the world; therefor we are unworthy. It’s all a lie.

Hatred is taught out of fear because we’re too afraid to tap into the power of love—nothing is greater. It’s what keeps our universe moving. It’s been the fuel for human passion since the beginning of time. It gives us a reason to survive, a purpose, a destiny. It allows us to see ahead into the future and dream, without which we might not have accomplished some of our greatest milestones.

We’re never judged by what the world thinks of us, but by how much love we ourselves bring to others.

I may have been heartbroken in the past, but I’ve lived long enough to know that love always welcomes more love—we recognize it when we see it. As we carry it inside us, it transfers peace and calm to everyone we meet.

Love always wins. We know it does. Call me naïve or say that I’ve been “Disneyfied,” but I’d rather spend my life knowing there’s good in everyone. At the end of the day we are only as strong as we are loved. That’s the truth.

David Artavia


David is an award-winning journalist and editor at The Advocate, Plus, and Chill magazines. His work also appears at Pride.com and OutTraveler. He lives in Los Angeles where he lives vicariously through his friends.

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