The Secret for Not Letting Toxic People Affect Your Happiness

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You exist on your own.

 

The things that people do, say or think don’t need to take anything away from us. They can exist on their own, just as we can.

You see, all of us carry a uniqueness no one can tarnish. We know what it is because we’ve felt it before—our sense of humor, quirkiness, and downright lovable self that only shows up when we’re comfortable in our surroundings. As we grow older (and more socially submissive), we begin to lose it little by little.

It’s interesting what happens when we become young adults. We become addicted to validation. Our worth is built by the opinions of others: if so-and-so thinks we’re annoying or dumb or wrong or ugly or fat or untalented, we think they’re right.

I’ve wasted so many years believing people were right to criticize me. As a young gay man it’s hard not to let the things people say affect my behavior, but there came a time when I got sick of it. I realized I forgot who I was. The uniqueness that made me who I am was lost.

Toxic people don’t need to take anything away from us. They’re living their lives as best they can just as we are. But the one thing we all need to achieve is an understanding of who we are as individuals.

We are all human beings.

That means we’re capable of being sensitive, fearful, loving, compassionate and desperate—some people pick and choose how to dominate someone by playing with their emotions. Other people use it to bring them closer together. What you need to do is find who you are without any inspiration from people.

When you know your morals and understand the man that you are, you can get back to the funny side we all know you have, then you can freeze it. Like a blueprint, you will have it forever so that when people come in your life to trick you into thinking you’re something you’re not, you can then say, Nope. I know who I am because I’ve done the research.

Toxic people don’t mean to mess up our groove (at least for the most part). There are many personalities that aren’t suited for us, and that’s fine. We are usually the ones to let it effect us because it’s the habit we’ve built.

Our goal is to look at toxic people as humans first. It’s their prerogative to be who they are, which you deem as bitchy, unfair, crabby, cynical, mean, rude, or whatever. They can exist on their own without affecting us because they no longer have power. We know what we stand for now.

Toxicity requires a willing individual. When we’re so willing to let these traits into our hearts and souls, it’s clear that we depend too much on their approval. The thing is though: approval is always a defeat.

Fighting for approval distracts us from personal progress. We will never reach a moment of self-ownership when we’re too busy selling ourselves to the highest trader.

Know your worth and yourself, and no one will take it from you.

David Artavia

Writer

David lives in New York City, where he acts, writes and lives vicariously through his friends.

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