Right Man, Wrong Time

Time is one of the most crucial things in life. We’re enslaved by it unwillingly, and more often than not we have to figure out a way to make it work to our benefit. But at the end of the day, time is meant to expire.

When we meet the right man at the wrong time, we feel helpless. It happens to us countless of times throughout our lives. We meet a guy who is seemingly perfect for us, until life swoops in to remind us we’re not ready: He’s too hung up on his ex. You need to focus on work right now. He’s going to be like all the rest. Be careful, you don’t want to be heartbroken.

When love happens, our brain rushes to tell us it’s bad timing, which makes me wonder: is it really bad timing, or just bad luck?

Have you ever had something really good happen out of the blue? You booked a job, you were approved, your best friend surprises you, your niece paints a picture for you—at first we’re full of joy, but in a matter of seconds it morphs into a fear of losing it.

It’s a protective mechanism. Something great happened but instead of allowing ourselves to enjoy it, we rush to protect it so it won’t ever leave. We start thinking bad thoughts instead of relishing in a good moment. This is how we sabotage ourselves.

All my life I’ve been a victim of bad timing. Whether it was a job, a man or a friend, it always seemed like I was too early or too late. Life is like that sometimes, and the greatest thing any of us can do for our wellbeing is to accept it. That’s when things start to change. That’s when we become aligned with fate.

Life is random. It’s a bunch of events falling into place as a result of our decisions. We can’t go back in time to change them, so we have to think on our toes presently and hope we make good choices—sometimes we do, sometimes we don’t, but at the end of the day our past choices prove to be the correct ones.

I often wonder what would have happened had I met certain guys at different stages of my life. Would we have worked out? Could it have meant something different? I’ll never know—and you know what? It doesn’t matter.

Imagine time being one giant road map. Each squiglee on the map represent a life. We start at birth, then continue onwards, traveling up and down and all around, crashing into each other at different stages. Sometimes we travel together for a while until situations shift us to a different trajectory. But no matter what happens, we travel on.

Life is the biggest lottery in the universe. We’re lucky to be alive at the same time in the same place, together. We crash into each other at different points in our journey so we can learn from one another. At the end of the day, time is a tool. Even though life must come to an end at some point, we must accept that sometimes we aren’t ready to collide with someone just yet.

We meet people when we are ready to meet them.

The second we start worrying is the moment we try to manipulate time. Trying to rush life is like pulling a tree from the ground because it isn’t growing fast enough. It’s impossible. It grows at its own pace with nourishment and light and patience.

Thought it seems like we’re meeting right men at the wrong time, sooner or later we come to understand the phases we’ve gone through in life had a purpose. They brought us here. If we refuse to let our past teach us anything, we will remain stagnant—that’s not what we were born to be.

It’s never easy saying goodbye. It’s never easy forgiving sleepless nights, the needless leading on he may have put you through, or the numerous hookups you assumed meant something. But the truth is it didn’t have anything to do with a lack of connection. The connection was real.

When neither of you are ready, there’s nothing you can do to change it. Two people can’t work together when one is overwhelmed with doubt. Our lives are constantly shifting. Some focus more on their career, others on family, some enjoy having more friends than lovers, others might only be interested in sex. The only thing you can own is how you treat every situation.

Letting go might sting at first, but the feeling is short-lived. It’s better to face the truth than to force what you think you want out of him.

One day you’re going to make a man very happy… it’s just not him. And that’s okay.

Never live life on the hopes of controlling time. The only thing you have say over is how you decide to achieve your goals. Things will happen when you’re ready, so stop forcing it and allow yourself to live in a genuine flow. Continue on your path. Eventually you will collide with another.

David Artavia

Writer

David lives in New York City, where he acts, writes and lives vicariously through his friends.

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