Why Straight Men Should be Flattered Gay Guys Check Them Out

If there’s one thing you can’t blame a man for, it’s staring at another man’s body. Whether it’s sexual or for sizing up, we find it fascinating. That’s the truth.

This is evident throughout human history and since the beginning of visual arts. Human beings have always loved each other’s bodies. It stimulates our appetite and arouses an urge that ignites creativity. Skin-to-skin contact releases hormones that make us feel secure and balanced, so it’s no wonder we fantasize about it constantly.

All that being said, why do straight guys get in a tizzy when another man checks them out? No one is grabbing their junk or forcing him to grab theirs (though we dream of it). The bottom line is pure old-fashioned homophobia.

But here’s the thing, fellas: if you weren’t something to idolize, we wouldn’t be staring in the first place. Don’t you want your endless hours at the gym to mean something? Think about it, gay guys are the best judges when it comes to beauty.

We basically invented pop culture. You should be flattered!

There is a double standard. Straight guys look at women all the time and expect them to be smitten. They’ll say that by wearing revealing clothing, women are asking to be hit on. But what about guys who run around with their shirts off, or wear tank tops in the summer?

At the end of the day, it’s not about sex. It’s about admiration. If admiring someone’s beauty causes the beautiful to get pissed off, he (or she) ought to reexamine what it means to be human.

Look at statues from the Greek and Roman periods. Most were half-naked men, distinguished by physique and strength—drawn by men! Guys idolize each other because at one point in our evolutionary history, strength and aggression stood a better chance of survival.

It’s not that guys don’t want to show admiration (sportscasters do it all the time), it’s just that when we admire another man’s body we have to be sure it is in no way associated with sex. Men have become paranoid about this because we tell ourselves that being gay means you’re not as strong or aggressive or manly as the rest—which means you have less chances of surviving.

But who are we trying to survive from? Each other?

I say, get the f*ck over it. Checking out a straight guy is no different from when a man checks out a woman. To think it is is actually not only homophobic, but misogynistic. For centuries, straight men have made us believe that as long as they do it, it’s okay.

But if you think about it, it is only in recent history that a woman’s body has been idolized sexually. Look at old statues and paintings in Egypt: it was the man who was idolized, not the woman. Maybe straight guys are trying to make up for lost time.

Straight guys, don’t get pissed if you’re running by my window without a shirt (and you’re fine as hell), and I do quick eye scroll as you pass. Hello! You’re shirtless running down my street, do you really think no one is going to check you out.

When we’re at the gym and you lift your shirt to wipe a sweat bead off your mouth, revealing the lower part of your chiseled stomach, don’t be surprised if my mouth drops a little. You should take it as validation that those protein powder shakes are doing their job.

When you’re dressed to the nines and I look at your swagger and say, “You look great tonight!” do not think that I want to get in your pants. If you do it’s probably a sign that you want to get into mine. A man who’s secure in his sexuality and character can take a compliment without making it weird. That’s the truth!

David Artavia


David is an award-winning journalist and editor at The Advocate, Plus, and Chill magazines. His work also appears at Pride.com and OutTraveler. He lives in Los Angeles where he lives vicariously through his friends.

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