Why the Bully Always Wins

We’re all born without a compass. If we’re lucky, we are instilled with great parenting or friends that direct us towards a brighter path. Unfortunately for most of us, we have to make mistakes and rummage through poor choices to find a general direction to start with.

As humans, we need the bully. Most of us are so comfortable being a follower that we need to find someone to lead us in a direction — it doesn’t matter where, so long as we keep moving forward. So long as we’re on the “popular” side of the times. So long as we’re ensured our survival.

Humans are like dogs. We domesticate ourselves under the system, allowing it to control our lives. Healthcare, education, same-sex marriage, the right to carry guns — we need permission to live. And there’s always one party willing to fight a little extra for your needs than another, but if you take a step back, you’ll realize it’s all a bunch of recycled mess. We don’t vote because of policy. We vote because of fear.

We need bullies in order to survive. It’s been part of our construct since the beginning of our species. Our main focus is to: a) survive and b) feed ourselves. We need a leader to make us think we’re part of a group with the strongest chances of survival. When this person steps up and decides to lead, it’s hard to stand against him when you feel alone.

A bully fights for what’s popular — never for what’s right.

Popularity isn’t about being liked or being worshipped. It’s about surviving. We’re built with a mechanism tied to survival, and we judge everyone around us within that context: How valuable am I compared to you? Will my opinion get brownie points? Can I make voting an opportunity to take a selfie so people will think better of me?

Everything is about shaping a better image to place ourselves on a higher scale within society. That’s how our system works, a modern version of survival of the fittest. If you aren’t valuable in society, no one is going to care what you think, nor are they going to listen to you.

Enter the bully…

The bully comes in and scares you into thinking you need them by convincing you it’s your only chance to survive, or in this case, to be recognized and validated and liked and popular. Our heart knows we’re being bullied, but our brains know this is our only chance of surviving. We must follow.

We all share an impulse to follow. In reality, it’s a divine gift to feel pressure to lead. Leading with good intention is beyond our comprehension. It’s natural to assume that a leader only does it for the likes. After all, they’re human too. But a great way to observe their intentions isn’t by looking at their policies per say, but by how they handle themselves publically.

A bully wants to scare you. A bully wants you to believe you need them. A bully changes the truth from person to person. A bully only sees you as a pawn, disposable. A bully doesn’t care about you, but rather the passiveness you hand them on a silver plate.

Bullies need your loyalty to gain power because, deep down, they have no security of their own. All they have are words, so they speak on behalf of data and polls. They tell you what you want to hear rather than speaking on what needs to be said. They’ll scare the shit out of you. As a result, our survival mechanism kicks in and we’re willing to do whatever they say because, if we don’t, we risk extinction.

America, we’ve been bullied. And the bully won. We have no choice now but to be the victim, unless we stand up to him. He holds us down by fear, but if we look that fear directly in the face, it always disappears.

We’re too busy focusing on his control than observing our own, which has been here all along. We are in control. We are in control. We are in control. We are in control.

Donald Trump is a typical bully. And I’ll tell you what I tell my young nieces and nephews: Never let the bully take away your integrity. He may have won over the school, but never become part of the regime. It’s the track record that will ultimately be your greatest asset.

Keep your head high, and go your own direction.

David Artavia

Writer

David lives in New York City, where he acts, writes and lives vicariously through his friends.

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